Saturday, November 12, 2011

Not Just Another Blog Challenge #7 - Something You Struggle With

I have no idea what I had in mind when I came up with this as a topic. But now, it makes me laugh out loud. I mean, if you've followed my blog for, say... six months or so, at least, then you know I struggle with plenty.

Of course, we all do. Maybe that was the point. Maybe I wanted to connect us all in the thread that we all struggle with something.

Right now I struggle with motivation, primarily at work. And with eating well.

I really should probably look for another job, as my current position just leaves me so terribly unfulfilled. I struggle with being motivated to work, am easily distracted, my productivity is way down... and I don't even care. That's the worst part, the tell that something is wrong.

As far as eating well... I'm not sure what happened. It seems like somewhere along the way junk has crept its way back into my diet. Actually, it feels like it jumped back in overnight. I mean, I never ate as well as I could, it was always a struggle for me, but then after seeing my endocrinologist I had made some changes and was doing fairly well, better than before, anyway, but lately... ugh. I just can't seem to get enough of it. I feel hungry all the time, even on my meds, and I'm craving the really bad stuff for me. Bad. It's not good. I'm scared to get on the scale.

I don't know what's going on. Part of me says if it's chemical / hormonal, that something has gotten out of whack, and no worries, because your checkup is next month anyway. You'll get your bloodwork done, see where everything is, talk to the endocrinologist, he'll adjust your meds, and everything will be fine. But I guess the doubting Thomas part of me worries that this solution that seemed so good might end up being too good to be true.

Part of me wonders if it's exhaustion-related. I'm just so tired lately. And it seems like the more tired I am, the more junk I want to eat.

All I can say, is that it's a good thing we don't regularly buy junk food at our house. Or I'd be a blimp right now. But curse the vending machine at work. Seriously.

So... those are my current struggles. What are yours?

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