Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Has it been three months already?!?

I can't believe it's been nearly three months since my last post. Life has been a whirlwind.

So how about an update on that situation. The side effects of my meds continued to worsen, so after much discussion with my endocrinologist & my husband we decided to discontinue.

So... what next? I have a metabolic disorder. Left untreated the expectation is my weight will balloon rapidly and I will be diabetic within 5-10 years. With my family history, heart disease & arthritis are already losing battles.

So I can try another cocktail of meds, but the truth is I've been on almost everything available over the past 5 years with moderate results. And no matter what they are there is a risk of side effects, many of them serious. You know when your doctor has you sign a waiver... Even prior to my issues I was struggling with my situation being that I was risking my life with side effects to save my life from the disorder. Is that really much of a trade-off?

I can try a liquid diet, hoping the drastic weight loss will lessen my symptoms. It's not permanent, no part of it is covered by my insurance, costs several thousand dollars, sets a bad eating example for my daughters, and even if it's effective in the weight loss will not actually resolve my condition at all, just lessen symptoms and basically buy me time. For what, I'm not sure.

I can try it on my own again. But considering I have been trying (and failing) to lose weight for the past 28 years, know that I have a metabolic disorder that makes it highly unlikely I will succeed without medical intervention... it seems like a recipe for depression & feeling like a failure.

Or I can have major surgery. My endocrinologist thinks I'm an excellent candidate, for a variety of reasons. The surgery he is recommending is 80% effective at treating my condition, and is permanent in 98-99% of those cases. And is likely covered by insurance. But it's surgery. Risks, and recovery, and what-not. Serious crap. So after much discussion with my doctor and my husband, and a lot of soul-searching on my part, we decided this was probably the way to go, and had a lot of peace about the decision... only to find out that my insurance plan does not cover it. I've been given the estimate that cash payment would be upwards of $13,000. Yikes. Not giving up on it yet, in fact I have my first appointment with the surgery center at the hospital tomorrow for an initial consultation, review of my case, etc. I guess we'll see what they have to say.

So right now, for the past 2 months or so, I've done nothing. No meds. Eating what I want (but not over-eating). I've already gained about 10 lbs, and the past week or so I've noticed the puffiness in my face returning that is one of the hallmarks of my disorder (it's water retention). I know I could make drastic changes to my diet & exercise to slow the gain, but I also know from past experience that it's not going to stop it. So I'm going to be really raw & honest with you right now when I tell you that I'm just trying to enjoy myself, love myself, and not worry about food. I'm trying to learn how to dress my body well, accept myself for who I am, and just enjoy my family and enjoy life. We'll see how my appointment goes tomorrow. Maybe I'll get surprise news about payment or something. Maybe we'll win the lottery, LOL. But other than that I'm going to enjoy the next few months and try not to worry about it. We have birthdays, anniversaries, multiple holidays... I just want to enjoy it, you know?

Well, as always, thanks for checking in!

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...