Tuesday, June 24, 2014

It's sad, really.

Back when I was in my late teens / early 20s I became aware of a class of women who I have been jealous of for years.

These women seemed to have the ability to absolutely control men. They had scores of men dying to date them, and whether they dated or not, it seemed if they asked something of a guy, any guy, they jumped to do her bidding. Most of them married early, having found their Prince Charming early on. Easy enough, I'm sure, with all the men falling at their feet.

As someone who didn't date until I was 19, and didn't marry until I was 30 - and not for lack of desire on my part - I envied these women. I wished I had that kind of hold on a man. I remember thinking that I wouldn't want to manipulate men the way they did, but that to have the ability to gain & keep the attention of scores of men, for a man to want to do things to please me, well, that would be nice.

So for years I envied them.

Now, in my mid-30s, I see things a little more clearly, because I've see who these women become.

I see that they are the woman who's onto her third husband... and isn't even 30 years old yet.

I see that they are the women relegating themselves to the role of adulteress, because it's the only way they know to get attention.

I see that they are the women posting graphic pictures of themselves online, desperate for comments or interaction from men, trying desperately to prove that they still have that kind of hold on a man.

I see that they are the divorcees and the widows who find themselves lost, unable to function in this world without a man making them the center of his world.

I see more clearly now, and instead of envying them, there's a part of me that pities them.

As difficult as it was sometimes being "late to marry", by being older, more settled into myself, I became confident in who I was as a woman, as a person. I know my own identity, and it isn't tied to a man. I lived as a single woman, and I know how to take care of myself. I have a good job, earn a good living.

In short, though I may want a man in my life, I don't need a man to survive or to be happy.

These women, unless they make a conscious effort to change, will never know what it's like to be a strong independent woman person. Their identity will always be tied to men, and they will never be able to have a happy, successful, fulfilling life without a man (or men) to give them attention.

It's sad, really.

1 comment:

Trina Halsey said...

Ehhh, not all of them. I was proposed to 5 times before 20. In college I was a serial dater, because they all wanted to marry me and name our kids and I wasn't there, yet. My hubby and I have been dating since 19 - half our lives. Married 6 weeks before I turned 23. I think everyone meets their prince charming when the time is right. One of our first conversations of our dating life involved me telling him not to bring up marriage. We were engaged 7 months later.

Enjoy your prince charming and let the rest of the world check out the balls for theirs.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...