Sunday, July 28, 2013

Excruciating. In more ways than one.

I'm pretty sure I had another miscarriage.

I can't be sure, but... I'm pretty sure.

No positive test this time. No test at all.

Three months after my miscarriage my cycles are still completely screwed up, so I wouldn't know when to take it anyway. I try to remember to pee on a stick once a month, but... eh.

So here's the story.

Even though my cycles have been messed up, I've not gone longer than 4 1/2 weeks between cycles. Usually 3 - 4. I was expecting my period any day, but day after day it didn't come.

I knew I was late when Jason asked me why I hadn't started yet.

The same time I was waiting for my period to start I had the same excruciating pain in my back that I had 3 months ago.

Of course, 3 months ago, with no history of miscarriage and a LONG history of back problems, I thought my back was acting up, even though the pain was different.

This time, I recognized it immediately. The same pain. In my back, but just slightly off to the left side.

Excruciating. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 73.

And this is coming from a woman who has been dealing with back pain for 10 years.

But it only ever lasted a few seconds. The longest time maybe a full minute. Then it would go away.

I was worried. Waiting for my period to start and a pain I recognized as occuring the same time as my miscarriage? Yeah, I was worried.

Then my "period" started. Maybe a week later than I expected. Heaver than normal. More clotting than normal.

Probably because it was an early term miscarriage. Probably.

Until now, I've only ever told Jason.

I just don't feel like re-hashing it again and again. I cried twice, and try not to think about it. In fact, this happened several weeks ago. I just didn't feel like sharing it yet.

But I like keeping my progress up to date on my blog. Both for my readers, and for my future reference. So there ya go.

As always, thanks for checking in.


Susan said...

I am so sorry....

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Oh Jodi, this is just so sad... I wish there was something I could say that would make a difference for you.

Megan said...

I am so sorry. I had a chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage) in april. For me, I was really a mess for a few days, and then really at peace. Now it comes and goes. The grief comes out of nowhere. I wrote a post about it here:
I'll be praying for you.

Katie said...

I'm so sorry! (((Hugs!)))

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