Friday, June 28, 2013

A Letter to the Well-Intentioned:

For the past few years,  you have been inquiring as to the size of our family, asking when we would bless Jena with a sibling.

For the past year, it has happened more frequently. One of you approaches me with this question at least once per week.

Quite frankly, it is none of your business.

Just as it was none of your business the first time around.

But for the record, here's the deal:

- in my younger years, I was informed by my physician to expect fertility issues. There is a very good possiblity that Jena is our miracle child.

- I had severe complications from my labor & delivery with Jena. This makes having another child really scary for me and my husband.

- I struggled with Post Partum Depression for over 2 years following the birth of my first child. This not only postponed the time until I was mentally well enough to even consider having another child, but also adds an additional concern to having another child.

- I've been struggling with pituatary issues for over two years, and have also dealt with various other health concerns.

- we have been trying to conceive, and suffered a miscarriage three months ago.
- I was recently informed by my physician, that because of my ongoing pituatary issues, I am most likely not even ovulating any more, and if we do conceive at this time, am unlikely to carry a pregnancy to term

So there it is. All laid out for you. Now you know the in-a-nutshell version of why we haven't had more kids yet. Thanks for reminding me weekly of some incredibly painful moments in my life. I especially enjoy when you do this loudly, and in public.

By the way, while we're at it, stop asking anyone when they're having kids, getting married, finding a new job, etc. unless the other person invites you to discuss that topic. Despite public results the path to getting to any milestone in life is a very private journey. So knock it off.

Thank you for your kind consideration in this matter.

-- Jodi


Steph{anie} said...

It never ceases to amaze me how people offer up their opinions or ask personal questions with absolutely no regard for the person's feelings.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Amen, sister!

Megan said...

Agreed. Somedays it is easier to answer, somedays I want to punch people, and somedays I just want o break down in tears. If I want you to know why we don't have kids yet, I will tell you! lol

Melanie said...

Well said sister, well said! We have two kids and I want a third, but I'm already through with people who ask: Are you done yet?"

Our Fine House said...

Augh! Thank you!! I'm shocked by the amount of people who think it's okay to ask about our family planning! We've been married for almost 6 years and we don't have children. We are asked CONSTANTLY when we're going to have kids. I wish I knew!!!!

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