Friday, May 24, 2013

The battle rages on...

I'm sitting at my desk.

I just came out of a meeting, and I'm ticked off. Like shake some people, slap some others, spew profanity into the air, throw things around the room ticked off.

But I'm at work, and I can't afford to get fired, so I'm sitting at my desk, mind spinning, unable to focus on work, with an angry face on.

And I so badly want to go to the vending machine and get a snack.

But I'm not hungry. I'm angry.
And so I don't go.

But I want to.

I have been fighting this mental battle with myself for the past 15 minutes.

I'm not hungry, I'm angry. I'm not hungry, I'm angry.
But you can get something good, you know? Wheat Thins, Baked Lays. They have good options.

But I'm not hungry, I'm angry.
But you've been good today. You had apples for breakfast, a salad for lunch, you can get a snack. You know you want to.

But I'm not hungry, I'm angry.
The problem with that mantra is that the other option for squashing my feelings is to throw things around the office, and that's kinda frowned upon.

But eating a snack at your desk? Who doesn't do that from time to time? Looking around the room, two co-workers are doing so now. They even provide vending machines for you to get snacks.

But I'm not hungry, I'm angry.
And I'm tired of being fat.

So I'm getting it out the only other way I know how. I'm writing.

I'm not hungry, I'm angry. I'm not hungry, I'm angry. I'm not hungry, I'm angry.
The battle rages on...

3 comments:

Shelly Mac said...

Sorry to hear you had a bad day at work. It makes life so miserable when you are angry at work.

When I am angry at work I go into the last stall of the Ladies room. I clench my fists as hard as I can and then I unclench them and shake my hands and arms as hard as I can. I keep doing this until I get some of my anger/frustration out!

Shelly Mac said...

If you do this just make sure you don't whack your hand on the toilet paper holder. I did that once and I was really angry!!!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Recognizing our emotional eating habits is one of the most difficult things to do. I would think this would put you on the right track, at least. For me the emotional eating thing is THE big issue that changed everything as far as weight loss goes.

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