Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I'm good with that

The other night, as I was walking to my car after work, I was thinking about paying bills, and sending Jena off to big kid school in a couple of years, and blah, blah, blah, and how our next child would be our last.

One more and done.

And not a moment later, I realized it's the first time I've ever so much as had that thought "... and done"

And... I'm content with that.

I guess this is what people mean when they say they knew they were done after such-and-such a kid. I've never had that feeling before, I've always felt like we weren't done, and I knew I'd be lucky blessed if Jason ever even wanted just one more, but I always felt like I would want even more than that.

First time I've ever, ever even thought "... and done."

And I'm good with that.

For a couple of reasons.

Not only does it feel good to be on the same page - he's good with having one more kid, I'm good with only having one more kid, but...

In a way I feel like with some of the anxiety I've been having lately over whether or not we should have another child (considering the complications & such with our first), well, I kinda feel like this resolves some of the anxiety. Not that I don't need to be concerned, talk to my doctors, take pre-emptive steps to prepare and try to prevent what complications we might possibly have any control over, but...

I kinda feel like this is confirmation that yes, one more child is supposed to be, one more child is what my heart was created for, one more child is who I was called to be a mother to.

And that gives me peace, peace that yes, this is good, we are on the right track, we are making the right decision.

Yep. One more, and done. And I'm good with that.

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