Thursday, February 21, 2013

I really should probably make that appointment with my therapist.

All this talk about having another baby someday, even though it's a "hopefully", and it's in the future, and we're not even TTC yet... well, I've been having flashbacks to my L&D experience w/ Jena.

This morning's was especially bad. I could feel the pain.

Oh, and now remembering the remembering I can feel it again... oh my God!

I ended up bawling my eyes out in the bathroom over the pain.

It wasn't the pain of the contractions, or of pushing, or of her actual delivery... it was after she was born.

When the nurses were pushing on my abdomen trying to get my uterus to contract and Lord it hurt so bad and I was crying and crying and crying and the poor nurse kept apologizing and telling me she had to do it to control the bleeding and I was like "I know you do" but it hurt sooooooooooooo bad

And the last thing I remember is looking at my mom's face as she came in to be at my bedside and then they gave me something to render me unconscious because they couldn't control the pain.

I've always said that if I ever get pregnant again I should probably see a therapist to help me prepare for L&D, but with the way these flashbacks are coming, I'm wondering if I should go ahead & start.


S said...

Oh my goodness. I had postpartum hemorrhage after my c-section with my twins--lost over 4 units of blood, I'm told--but thankfully, I felt no pain and that time period is very hazy for me, thanks to Demerol and other drugs. I can't even imagine having endured the vigorous uterine massaging and other ministrations without being kind-of out of it.

Maybe therapy isn't a bad idea. {{HUGS}}

Marianne said...

Fortunately, I never had a bad delivery of postpartum depression. If you're seeing the same OB/GYN, I would talk to him/her about a scheduled C-section to avoid the issue altogether.

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