Sunday, April 8, 2012

Apparently, I'm a Bitch

Who knew?!?

Okay, maybe you did.

I didn't.

I fancy myself a fairly nice person. Try to be anyway.

I should explain that the context came at work. Supposedly more than once. This is all hearsay, because apparently I am so scary nobody will say it to my face.

It's not the first time I've been called that. I'm sure it won't be the last.

I thought it would bother me more than it did.

Oddly enough, it didn't bother me at all. More about that later.

Incidentally, one of my (very few female) coworkers was also called a b**** a week later.

She is so not. She's very nice, and funny. A little rough around the edges maybe, but not a b****.

We work in an extremely male-dominated area of our company (meaning the company isn't so male-heavy, but our division is).

And, from what I know about when I was called this name, which was intended as an insult, I wasn't being mean at all.

Insensitive might be the strongest word you could use.

Efficient, trying-to-do-my-job, and not-willing-to-put-up-with-your-crap might be others. Or maybe standing-up-for-myself. That's a good one.

Likewise, my co-b**** relayed her story.

She is still dwelling on the name, feeling insulted, and trying to figure out why someone would call her that.

See, she too, was simply doing her job. Or trying to. Part of her job includes imparting her opinion of a problem, coming up with solutions, and getting others to work together towards that solution.

It appears this person disagreed with her.

She assumes. He didn't really say so. She just relayed what she thought needed to be done, and he called her a b****.

From what she has told me (which was confirmed by a third party), all she was trying to do, was do her job. Similar to my case.

I know we all get pushback at times in our jobs. It happens.

But these two incidents have left me wondering if a man who performed in exactly the same manner as we did, would have been insulted via name-calling.

Or, would they have been rewarded for being assertive, strong, and standing by their opinions? Would they have been complimented for their efficiency on the job?

After all, in the eight years I've been here, I don't ever recall one of my guys coming back and saying "I was trying to explain how they could solve their problem, and this guy called me an a**hat!" Not once. Not even close.

Stories of resistance, pushback, people who didn't want to cooperate... sure.

But not once do I recall someone being called a name because someone else disagreed with them, or didn't like what they had to say. Not once.

And so, it doesn't bother me, not in the oh-my-goodness-someone-doesn't-like-me way. More in the I-suspect-you-might-be-sexist way.

As always, thanks for checking in.


Steph{anie} said...

I just had a situation like this last night at work. When you stand up for what's right and actually do your job, it's amazing when you get called a bitch. I was doing what was best for my patient and a member of a coordinating discipline (respiratory therapist), said I was a bitch. I'm sorry, but stepping in to save my patient from having a bad outcome does NOT make me a bitch.

Other people are intimidated when a strong woman does her's a sad but true reality in our world. Men don't get accused of similar offenses; what's with that?? Hypocrisy in our society, that's my opinion. A blaring double standard!

Firefighter/Paramedic said...

It doesn't happen to men because it's usually a guy saying it. And if a guy said that to another man there's a good chance of someone getting their a** kicked.

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