Sunday, January 15, 2012

If you visit my house...

A few things to keep in mind should you ever choose to visit my house:

There's a good chance my house will not be neat & tidy.
If you choose to come over unannounced, there's a really good chance it won't be neat & tidy.

There will probably be dirty dishes in the sink.
If you choose to come over unannounced, there will probably be dirty dishes on the counter next to the sink.

We don't have curtains on our windows. Any of them. Or blinds. So walk around naked at your own risk.
Wait, if you're there, you're probably there to visit us. So, maybe don't walk around naked at all, 'kay?

We maintain an open-door policy at our house. So if you don't want a preschooler walking in on you while you pee, you should probably lock the bathroom door.

We have three outdoor dogs. They will greet you as you pull up. If you don't want this to happen, you should let us know ahead of time so we can tie them up temporarily make arrangements.

Oh, and Tootsie is losing her vision. And her hearing. So... just watch what you're doing and don't hit our dog, 'kay?

We have one indoor cat. He has long hair. If you're allergic, take your meds before you come. His hair is everywhere.

If a door is closed, don't open it. Since we do maintain an open-door policy, if a door is closed, there's a huge mess in that room reason.

We don't have cable, and only get spotty reception on the 3 local channels we get. Also known as, don't expect to watch the big game at our house.

As a rule, we don't keep pop (ie. soda) in the house. You are however welcome to whatever fruit juice, milk, or in rare occasions sweet tea, we do have. And also, unlimited water. You're welcome.

We don't keep much snack food around either. But we can usually offer you some baby carrots, whatever fruit selection we have that week, and if you're lucky, a granola bar. And ice cream. We do like ice cream, so we should be well stocked in that.

Although if I'm expecting you, I have been known to stock up on snacks & drinks. Because I do try to be a good hostess like that. Emphasize the word "try".

Oh, and going back to the drinks thing, we usually have water for dinner, and it doesn't always occur to us that someone might want something other than water, so if you're coming over for dinner, and you want something other than water, you should probably just bring it, or let us know ahead of time. Otherwise you will be disappointed. (this one from experience)

The chances of Jena being there are about 99.9%. So if you're expecting to drop by for some adult time, it's not gonna happen. And if you want my undivided attention for any reason, that's probably not gonna happen either. Not until she gets a lot older anyway.

We live in the country. If you need to drive thru our yard to get out of the driveway, go for it. You won't upset us. Go for it.

We live in the country. It will feel like an eternity on your way out here, but it's really not that far. We're four miles from the nearest town, about 10 from several major highways, and about seven from a major shopping area. It's really not that far. I promise.

All of that being said, you should also know that you will be welcomed. We may even greet you with open arms. We will be glad you are there, and you will be loved.

Jena may even put on a performance for you, and Tucker might get brave enough to purr in your ear.

this post inspired by this post

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...