Wednesday, December 28, 2011

so this is what balace feels like

I like it.

Our family finally feels balanced. For probably the first time since Jena was born.

Don't get me wrong, part of me hates putting it that way, because it sounds like we're blaming her or something, but that is totally not the case.

It's just that we had a harder-than-most time adjusting to the change in our lives, didn't always react to the change or each other properly, fought thru the mire of PPD, still dealing with PP-PTSD, went thru a few personal & family crises, rustled up a fair amount of marital issues, and... were just incredibly unbalanced, pretty much from the beginning.

Until now.

Jason & I had this discussion a few weeks ago, how peaceful our home is, how serene we are individually, how balanced we both feel.

And it's not just me.

a.k.a. - I'm not the only one that was going crazy.

He openly talked about how he feels the difference as well, and the word balance just kept creeping into our conversation.

I've made a conscious effort to tame the crazy by being still more often. And while the housework at times suffers more than it did in the past, the truth is not by much, and not by enough to off-set the positive changes that this has bestowed upon me and my family. A calmer mommy, more time to really be with each other... balance.

Jason cut back a little on his volunteering, took over one of the household responsibilities that I was previously doing, made some other personal changes that I won't go into here, and has been helping out more with Jena. Balance.

Jena, well, she's just awesome as is, and her harmony in life tends to feed off of what's going on in her parents' lives, so... balanced.

This balancing act though, it's a process. Jason picks up some overtime to ease our financial burden... we re-adjust. I pick up an activity in the hopes it will ease our financial burden... we re-equalize. Holidays come along, our schedule gets over-burdened... we level it up. Balance.

I've been tempted to get back to volunteering again, get back to some community activities, something I gave up in the months after Jena was born in an effort to keep from being too overwhelmed by obligations. But... not yet. This being balanced thing is new for our family, and I'm not rocking the boat just yet.

Balance. It may be an ongoing process, but it sure does feel good when you get there.


'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

So happy for you all. Sounds divine! I can relate. We all reach our own harmony in our own time. When we get there, we can't really remember exactly what it was ever like before we hit our own balance. And what a godsend it is to forget what came before.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

It is always good to see some positive changes happen in family.

If I am feeling unbalanced I ask God what I need need to keep doing and what I need to give up. A lot of times I ask my hubby. He knows exactly what is overwhelming even if I don't like the answer sometimes. Being willing to examine and see what is working and what isn't is crucial. Also, filling our days with community work and stuff can take time away from the family. Their is a season for everything. Protect that family dinner time with everything you have. It is so hard the older your children get. I can attest to that! But it is well worth it.

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