Thursday, October 6, 2011

My ex is now my boss

Okay, not exactly. But I couldn't think of another interesting way to head up this post.

In a completely unexpected turn of events, my ex is now a manger in my division.

In my small (40 people total), since-we-got-rid-of-the-assistant-I-am-now-the-only-support-staff division.

Which means it is now my job to support my ex.

I had no idea the change was coming. Usually, I know what's going on in my division before anyone else. Not this time. Not until one of the general managers handed me an updated org chart & asked me to send an email to everyone & post it.

I nearly fell out of my chair. Not happy.

See, Ex & I have worked for the same company for over seven years. I was trying desperately to get out of working for doctors' offices, and applied with three different temp agencies in the area.

The first one to call me back with a long-term position, wanted to place me here.

I almost didn't take it, because he worked here. But it was an awesome opportunity to work for a great company, get some great work experience, etc. I didn't want to pass up an excellent opening, on the chance that there might be an occasional awkward moment.

Besides, it's a HUGE company, and I knew which division he was in, and my offer was in a completely different division.

Indeed, for seven years, our paths rarely crossed, and usually only in the form of happening to pass each other in the hallway or the cafeteria maybe once every few months.

But here we are, seven years later, and he is now one of my managers.


It's also irritating.

These are my people, my relationships, my friends. And now he's all schmoozing with everyone (which he's always been very good at), and now they are becoming his people, his relationships, his friends.


And yes, I have a million questions I would ask him, if we were on better terms.

Why? being the biggest one.

I can guess, I suppose. He's always been very career-driven, and maybe this was his first chance at a manager position (it was a promotion for him).

But really? In this huge company, he couldn't get promoted into any other division? He knew I worked here, knew I'd be his support staff. There's no question of that. Why did he have to take this job?


I'd also like to know if his wife knows. After a few years of... baggage... she & I patched things up about three years ago & had become friends. Because of the awkwardness, we don't get together in person often, but I've talked to her several times since he came into my division, and she's never mentioned it. Never asked about him. Nothing.

I also know that, before we'd patched things up, well, thru mutual friends I found out that she hated that we even worked for the same company. Several people had told me that any time they had a fight she would be crying that they were having problems and in the meantime he was going to work "with her".

While it wasn't really true then, it is true now. He works with me every day. If he's not travelling we see each other every day.


I will say he's done an impressive job of not actually saying one word to me in the three months he's been in my division. I mean, as his support staff, it actually is remarkable that he's managed to avoid me so completely. And in a true show of his own uncomfortableness, he's only made eye contact... maybe twice. In three months.

Really. It's impressive.

But just adds to the mystery.

And I think makes it more troublesome than if he'd just say something.

But especially with him being a manager now, I really don't feel like I should approach him, if he's not ready.

Oh, and I'm so tempted to "slip" and say something to his wife, but at the same time I really don't feel like it's my place to tell, just in case she doesn't know.

So... there's my latest drama / life stressor.

Not too climactic, just enough to keep me on my toes.

Thanks for checking in.


Melissa said...

Hm, not sure how I would feel about that. Not something I woulda ever had to worry about; my ex refused to hold a job.

Maybe this will be the instigation needed for your husband to decide it would be a good time for you to be able to quit work and stay home and have another baby.

Because if y'all are waiting on finances to get right before you can quit working, they never will.

Unknown said...

YIKES! It would be very hard for me to worry about any of my hubby's ex's - we have been together since basically his 20th birthday. But, when he was an elementary teacher, there was another teacher, that, well, didn't necessarily respect boundaries and that was VERY hard to be mature about. I had to be sure that the administration knew without a question that I wanted the OTHER teacher in that grade, no exceptions. I hope it works out well. I am glad that the two of you girls worked things out. That is very cool.

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