Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Spread the Happy.

The past few years have been a period of enormous adversity for me. Something that my long-time followers have probably figured out. You know, if they've been paying attention    :)

And you may remember earlier this year I hit what really felt like bottom. But what is it they say about hitting rock-bottom? You have nowhere to go but up?

Well, I can't really pinpoint a moment, but I really feel like somewhere between now & then I've reached a turning point.

The healing process (because you know I like that analogy) is... regenerating.
It is less & less the painful ripping off old bandages to put on new, and more and more the growth of new tissue, the easing of tired muscles, the strengthening of self.

I am, slowly, beginning to feel more & more like my old self.

And in feeling more & more like I used to be, there is something about how I have been, about how I am being, that I do not like.

It is no one's fault, no one's responsibility but my own.

But it has also proven a difficult disposition to break through.

I have become a Negative Nellie.

And I don't like it.

This is something I've thought about for a while, but in differing perspectives, as my journey took me thru different places.

I've thought things like: well, of course you are, it's human nature, everyone goes thru that, etc, etc, etc.

And that all may be true.

And, I don't want to be too hard on myself, because I did struggle with some very legitimate issues, and found myself in a reasonably weakened mental & emotional state.

But... it's still up to me. It's still my choice.

And I am stronger now. I know I am.

So it is time. It is time for me to stand up and to take control of Negative Nellie, and tell her to get lost. And to find a new frame of mind, a new me, constantly recreated, better than I was.

It's so tempting for me to think "I want to be who I was before..."

Back when I was in college, and my college sweetheart used to tell me that I was too optimistic.

Back to the days following my accident, when I would hobble into my doctors' offices, and the staff would comment on how they didn't know how I could possibly seem so happy, when I was obviously in so much pain.

But... I don't want to be who I was before. Because I know that it is by coming thru trials that we become our strongest, that we learn the most.

And so I will be new.

And to this end, to help guide Negative Nellie out of here, I will be doing a new series of postings.

I will post something that made me happy that week, as well as my favorite blog posting from the past week. Because why not share the joy?

And because I like to practice on my graphic design, I made a button. It'll show up in my first series-posting. So in the spirit of spreading the joy, you can feel free to grab it and play along. Because you might not be a Negative Nellie like me, but, well, can't well all use a little more happy? Spread the happy.

Well, I'm done now. First "Spread the Happy" post to follow in the days ahead.

But before I go, I have to give a shout-out to Steph over at Plan B. Because while I've been working struggling with being more positive for a while now, it was her post about being thankful that inspired me to do this series.

I thought about doing the thankful series, but felt that a happy series suited where I needed to get myself better at this point in time. I might pick up the thankful series later. Either way, I'm sure there will be some overlap. Hard to be thankful without being happy. Hard to be happy without being thankful    :)

As always, thanks for checking in.


Marianne said...

I can't say I'm always "happy", but I do try to be more positive than negative. I found out a long time ago that being unhappy, down, negative, whatever you want to call it, just made things worse. If it's something that can be fixed, then fix it, if it's not, then worrying, etc. won't make it better, it just makes me worse. So I try to see the bright side of every situation and my world is a better place as a result! Happy trails!

Steph{anie} said...

Holy cow, did you really just give me a shout out?? I'm blushing :) I love when God uses my ramblings to spark something in a friend's life.

I too tend to be a little {ok, a LOT} on the negative side; I like to blame it on my Type-A personality, but really, that's a cop-out. I think attitude is a CHOICE, not a destiny, and I need to choose to be more positive rather than default to my negative habits.

Wanna be more positive together? I need to be thankful, but it sounds like you need more happiness...they go hand-in-hand, right?

Allison said...

Great post! I think you are off to the right start!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...