Thursday, February 3, 2011

Okay, Why Have I Kept So Much Private?

Because it's not all mine to share.

That's the simple answer.

Yes, it's good & okay & therapeutic to be able to write down your experiences, especially bad ones.

Yes, it's good & okay & can be wonderful to find support thru your turmoil from your readers.

I know this.

But over the past few weeks months year, even though the (negative) experiences are mine, they also belong to other people.

Most notably, but not solely, my husband.

And FireMan has not given his permission for me to share what has happened. Not details anyway.

He knows I've shared in vagueness what has happened, he knows I have shared my feelings at times. He is okay with that.

He has not given me permission for me to share things he has done, to share specifics of our marital issues.

And he is my husband. So I will respect that.

Even though sometimes I really want to write it all down, put it all out there for the universe to read.

But it's probably good, because I have a feeling that if I did write posts about specifics, I would probably end up regretting it & deleting most of them anyway.


So, that's why, even though I have shared so much with you, there is so much none of you know. So, so much.

That's why, sometimes, when I post and it seems like I'm having a breakdown (and most likely am), you might think it's come out of nowhere, or that it doesn't seem like very much happened.

Trust me, I'm not the type to have meltdowns over nothing. Very likely something very big happened. Or a million little things happened that just became too much to bear.

So that's why. This blog is about me. But in being about me, it also becomes about the people in my life. And sometimes I have to check myself, censor myself, out of respect for them and their privacy.

That's all. Thanks for checking in.

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