Thursday, December 23, 2010

My Husband & I Disagree on Child Care

So, you know we've been trying to decide on new child care for FireGirl, right? and you know that I'm not comfortable with the daycare facility setting, right? well, I also have not been 100% comfortable with the friend we have babysitting her either. No structure, all fun, lots of TV.

Then, the in-home day care option showed up. And I fell in love with this lady's program, right?

So I asked FireMan about it last night, what he thought about asking her if she had long-term openings for FireGirl.

He asked what type of schedule I was thinking. I told him four days a week for now (she goes to preschool one day a week thru May), then once my parents are able & willing to watch her, two or three days per week after that, depending on what my parents want to do.
He said no.

Basically, our thoughts are the exact opposite.

He'd rather she be in the facility setting. Or the babysitter is his 2nd choice.

Although I'm pretty sure the babysitter as the 2nd choice is a strictly financial one. She's cheaper by $10/day (since we're technically part time our rates are daily).

His logic behind choosing the facility setting over the in-home setting is two-fold.

#1 - he feels she will have greater opportunity for academic development
hmmm.... yes, and no. More stuff, yes. But listen. FireGirl is already ahead academically. On what few items her preschool tracks at this age, she's already performing at the level of their four-year-old class in several areas. Two years ahead of schedule. So no, I'm not convinced that putting her in a large class (10 students) with a set curriculum aimed at two-year-olds is going to help her advance at all. In fact, it may hinder her academic development.
Personally, I think considering the in-home professional has a curriculum she follows for each age, and a smaller number of children, that FireGirl has better opportunity for moving forward at her own pace in that setting than in a facility.

#2 - he feels her social development will progress better in the facility setting, since there are more children, and they will all be her age
okay, this one is more valid. And more sensitive for him. She has been behind socially, although this has all but vanished since she started pre-school three months ago. So there's definitely an argument for this. But being devil's advocate, I also think she would benefit from being around children of all ages as well (in-home provider ages range from infant thru age five, with 1-3 other children being close to FireGirl's age on any given day).

If she goes full-time the cost of each is comparable. If she goes part-time, the in-home provider is significantly cheaper, because the facility lowers their per day rate significantly based on the number of days attending. Both are licensed by the state. The facility just received it's 4th star earlier this year. The in-home provider has 3 stars (rating system issued by the state, four being the highest).

Ugh. It goes back to my earlier post. There is no "right" or "wrong" answer. It's just different.

But what do you do when the parents disagree on what is best for your child? What if your spouse doesn't want to send your child to the day care you fell in love with? What if the idea of sending your child to the day care your spouse has chosen makes you horribly uncomfortable? What then?
We have to decide, fill out forms, and make arrangements so she can start at one or the other on January 3rd.

I have a feeling that's not as much time as it sounds.


Marianne said...

#1 I think he's wrong about the academic development, mine went to in home day care and they learned a lot. In fact, with fewer children, they received more individual attention.

#2 I don't feel like the size of the group will make her social skills develop any better. My kids were well prepared for school, both socially and academically.

Another perk of in home day care for us was the fact that our sitter would take them when they were sick, so less work missed for me.

Steph{anie} said...

Ugh, don't you wish people would see your point of view sometimes? I totally side with you on this issue {not that it really matters or anything lol}. I hope you can figure out something that will be acceptable to both you and FireMan...and most importantly, right for FireGirl.

Merry Christmas {and thanks for your sweet comment on my Facebook yesterday!}

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