Saturday, May 1, 2010

Love and Grace

So... here's the deal.

FireMan & I have had some issues lately. No, I'm not discussing them here. Yes, we'll be fine.
Plus the betrayal that I've already posted about.
Plus issues at work.
Plus FireGirl has been sick.
Plus I've been sick.

So I've been under a lot of stress. A lot. The past two weeks have probably been two of the worst in my life.

And last night, as FireMan & I were having yet another discussion arguement, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, and I prayed for God to give me love and grace. Love and grace. Love and grace. I asked that he take the bitter words out of my mouth and help me to respond to my husband with love and grace. Love and Grace. Even if his words were hurting me. Even if I wanted to respond defensively. Love and Grace. Eventually I ended up just repeating those words in my head, my repeated prayer for God to help me.

Love and Grace. Love and Grace. Love and Grace. Love and Grace. Love and Grace. Love and Grace.

And thru that, I realized something. You know, one of those things that we all know, but sometimes we have to be reminded of?

And, here it is:
I only have control over me.
I can't control what other people do, what other people say. I can't make people take responsibility for their actions. I can't make people be more compassionate. I can't fix relationships by myself.
All I can do, is what I can do.

So, I can do what I can to be a better wife. I can do what I can to be a better friend. I can do what I can to be a better employee. I can do what I can to be a better person. I can do what I can to live my life in Love and Grace.

I can pray for others. But that's really about it.

So, Love and Grace. Love and Grace. God give me Love and Grace. God help me to respond to people with Love and Grace, even when I feel hurt. Love and Grace. Love and Grace. God help me to portray Love and Grace to others. Love and Grace. Love and Grace.

"...where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:"    -- Romans 5:20b

3 comments:

Stephanie RN BSN (to be!) said...

Love and grace...isn't that what life boils down to? I could use a lot more love and lord knows I need grace, boy to give and receive.

Praying for whatever is going on in your life.

Melissa said...

Your actions and words will effect the people around you just as theirs have effected yours. Stay strong and don't give up the fight.

Marianne said...

So true, you can only control you. But, remember this from your post a few days ago?

"The husband is to be the head of the home."Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" -- Ephesians 5:22, 25
A wife's submission to her husband is also contingent on her husband behaving toward her in a loving manner. One does not work without the other."

When you said his words were hurting you, it reminded me of this post. Maybe he needs to learn this "loving manner". This is not the first time you've talked about his words hurting you. Does he realize how much this affects you?

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