Friday, May 21, 2010

Dear Project Manager:

Listen. I am darn good at my job. Well, the best here anyway. Which is why you came to me. However, you don't seem to understand that there are a few working conditions that will prevent me from turning out a good product, which are completely out of my control. They include (but are not limited to):

- you changing your mind 18 billion times about what you want
- you seeing the finished project, done exactly has you asked, then you realizing that that's not what you wanted after all
- bad data from the supplier
- made up data from the supplier
- you deciding to make up data to make the report look better
- you deciding you don't like the coding I'm using, so you give me code to use, even though I try to explain to you why it won't work

Seeing as how you are a manager, and I am a peon, I kinda have to do what you ask. But stop blaming me for things "not working out right", when you are the driving force behind said things that are not working out right.

I have done what you asked. I have completed the 18 billion requested changes. I am managing the data as reported from the supplier (that you approved). I have even, against my better judgement, included the crap that you pull out of thin air.

But even the best working level stiff cannot produce a good product when the input is bad, when the manager cannot manage his own information.

So please, stop your shenanigans and leave me to do my job as I see fit. I can all but guarantee you that we will end up with a much more accurate, timely, and visual product if you leave me to my own devices.

Thank you.

Data Management Peon

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