Monday, February 1, 2010

Gave FireMan the Silent Treatment...

... last Thursday, in case you couldn't guess.

I do want to clarify though. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't say "oh, I'm so ticked at you, I'm not even gonna talk to you, that'll teach you".

It was just that... I had nothing to say. I was really upset with him. Really, really upset. And I had no words. I had nothing to say to him. I didn't want to hear him. I didn't want to see him. So I refused to answer his calls, and for the first time since FireGirl was born, we didn't meet for lunch on a day that he watched her. I even strongly considered not going home that night. I just had no words.

Before you get all worried, he didn't do anything majorly wrong. It was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I'd had enough, and I was buckling under the weight.
And I needed my space so I could gather my legs under me & keep moving.

So... my point is... that it actually kinda worked. Like I said I really didn't have any expectations. I just didn't have anything to say. And yes, I hoped that at the very least, he would "get it", finally. But I honestly had no real agenda.
Yet when I came home that night (yes, I went home) FireMan had dinner waiting on me. I still wasn't ready to talk, so he still didn't get any words. But I was grateful. He has also, since then, and up thru yesterday, been somewhat more helpful than in recent memory.
Oh, and I eventually did thank him for dinner, and tell him how yummy it was.

I hope this is coming out right because I'm struggling with my wording

So anyway, the point of all this is that I keep thinking about it. And I'm thinking about how we need to communicate to one another in a language that the other understands. FireMan is not a "word" person. He hates reading. He never has much to say. He's much more of an action person. A hands-on kind of guy. I, on the other hand, am very wordy. So sometimes I think I need to explain to him that I'm feeling a certain way, why I'm feeling that way, etc. But really, since he's not a wordy-type person, I should be finding a way to show him.

I'm not really sure what I'm going to do in the future about these type of things. I don't intend to play games, I hate playing relationship games. But I am hoping that this experience will eventually lead to something positive: me discovering a better way to communicate my needs to my spouse.

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