Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Do you ever feel like you're kidding yourself?

I do. Specifically today.

Things have been crazy busy at work. Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. It is budget planning time at work, you know. But still.

Then there's home. Nothing highly unusual there. Just the usual trying to do it all. Plus FireGirl has another diaper rash. This one is probably her worst one yet. And it stresses me because I am at such a loss as to what to do. I feel like we've done everything we're supposed to, we follow the pediatrician's instructions, and as soon as she gets over one problem in that area, another one crops up. We go back to the pediatrician tomorrow. I guess that's really it. That stress / anxiety of having a child who is suffering (she really is in pain and itching badly this time), plus being busy at work is just taking it's toll.

I just feel like I'm living a lie. The facade of a woman who is managing to do it all, when I really don't feel like I'm managing even one little piece of it.

1 comment:

Stephanie RN BSN (to be!) said...

I feel like I could have written those exact same words. I'm struggling so much to keep up with everything around me; I so desperately want to control things and make them "happen" that I'm burning out fast. I've always felt like I had to do everything and be perfect at everything I do...I can relate to what you're going through. Praying you can find peace in knowing you aren't alone.

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