Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Allowing a "weakness" to creep in

So, amidst all the revelations I've been having lately, I had yet another one regarding my weight. Specifically my eating.

I have had a really difficult time controlling my eating. At times it almost feels out of my control. Like I can't help it.

And then... the other day... a lightbulb.

What if... just maybe... on some subconscious level, I "can't" control my eating, because that's the one thing I can be weak in. That I have to be strong for so many other reasons, and things, and people that subconsciously maybe I was looking for something that I could be weak in. And my subconscious mind found food.

Of course, now it's on the conscious level. And I have to admit, I think this was a big part of it.

And so now I am working on consciously changing my thinking. When I hear those quiet voices in my head telling me to eat those cookies, they're so good, you need them... I do my best to shut them up. To remind myself of when I last ate. And if I just can't keep them quiet, then I find another, (even if slightly) healthier option to satisfy that craving.

Oh the battle is far from over, this battle of wills. But I feel like I am winning, for the first time in a long time. I feel like I have turned a corner. I can do this.

1 comment:

G Wise said...

You are right, you can do it! To me though sometimes it's better if I give into the craving but eat less of it... that way, I'm not looking to so many other things to fill it. I always say "Is Calorie Worthy" basically is it really worth it... sometimes it is and others definitely not! I've had cake before and took one bite realized it wasn't worth it and threw it into the trash. Mind you food is a constant battle so I totally understand ;-) Good Luck girl! You can do it!

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