Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Weeded Out Some Clothes Last Night

I've been putting this off. Weeding thru my pre-pregnancy clothing. But it needed to be done.

We don't have much closet space in our home, so for the past nearly two years (!!) my wearable work clothes have been hanging on a doorknob. First, it was my maternity clothing. Then, it was my post-pregnancy-sized clothing. It was time I accepted my new body.

I didn't get thru all of my clothing, just what was hanging in my closet. I reminisced. I got aggravated. I got regretful.

I reminisced about times that I wore certain outfits. Like the shirt I was wearing when I met DH. Like a blouse that wore at one of my bridal showers.

I got aggravated that I couldn't wear them anymore. I got aggravated at myself that I still haven't lost my baby weight.

I got regretful. I regret not doing more to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I regret not taking better care of myself.

I didn't get rid of everything. In fact, I got rid of far fewer items than I had anticipated. Cheapskate that I am, I worry that when I do finally lose the weight, if I get rid of all of my old clothes, then I'll have to spend $$ on a new wardrobe. I'm too cheap to do that.
My original plan was to keep a few favorite outfits, and get rid of the rest. Out with the old, in with the new.
What ended up happening is that I realized that I liked a lot of those clothes. So I got rid of anything that I wasn't thrilled about, anything that maybe didn't fit exactly right before anyway.

And now I'm back watching what I eat. Back on FitDay tracking my weight & calories. Not thrilled about it, but I feel more.... resolved this time. I feel more ready. And I've accepted in my head that it might take me a long time to lose it all. But the words of my previous family doctor ring in my ears: "the slower you lose the weight, the more likely you are to keep it off". Generally speaking, of course. But still. The last time I had a significant amount of weight to lose, it took me 18 months to lose 40 pounds. But I kept the vast majority of it off until I got pregnant. Some ups & downs, but most of it stayed off for years. So... let's do this.

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