Saturday, November 21, 2009

If only it were that easy

I wish it were that easy. I mean, thanks for the advice, but do you really think I never thought to ask for help? That's a little obvious. You don't always get what you ask for.
And what do you do when you feel justified in your request, and he feels justified in saying 'no'? Hence the frustration.

And , yes, I know it's in my hands to reach out and make friends.
But that's not so easy either.
I already feel like my quality time with FireGirl is limited, so now I'm gonna leave her to go out with the girls? or bring her along and have my attention divided? go to a small group at church & put her in the nursery?
I know it's my choice. And I made my choice. To spend the vast majority of what limited free time I have with my daughter. And my husband if he's around.
And I'm proud of that choice. But it doesn't mean that I don't still get lonely at times.


Cynthia said...

If taking some time for yourself, to have friends and interests, makes you a better mom at the end of the day for being happier and having a better sense of self-esteem, isn't that worth something too?

Quality time should be just that - quality time that you are happy to be with your child - not wishing you could be doing something else or having another adult to talk with. You're martyring yourself with the excuse of motherhood - but lots of mothers handle having friends and manage to have happy children too.

Both of my BFF's have almost-2-yr-olds. Their children are usually present when I get together with them - one on one or all together. If anything, their children get even more attention for the experience because I'm playing with them too - and I'm even helping by giving my friend a few moments where she doesn't have to have eyes in the back of her head to try to keep an eye on the child while she's trying to do something else. A good friend is a friend to your child too.

Jene said...

I get what you're saying, especially about wanting to spend all of your free time with your daughter. I usually feel the same way, I think most working moms probably have that pull.

However, I do think it's important to have some quality "me" time, too. I make time to go out without Baby C at least once a month, often two or three times. I need that time with adult friends. I need time alone. I enjoy the adults-only book club meetings. I enjoy spending time with my married by kid-free and single girlfriends. I don't feel like Baby C is missing out on me - if anything, I feel like he's getting a better mom when I come home - refreshed, newly stimulated by adult conversation, relaxed - if that's what you need to do, then do it without guilt.

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