Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I recovered a memory this morning

You know how they say you often repress memories of painful moments in your life, kind of a function of self-defense?

Well, as I lie in bed half-asleep this morning, a flash came before me, and I remembered one of the most painful moments of my life. When my ex left me. Told me he didn't love me anymore. I have no idea what brought this on. What was even more surprising to me was how completely I had forgotten it, until the wee hours of this morning.
Every detail wasn't there, it was bits & pieces, flashing thru my mind like a slideshow. But the details that were there were vivid. What I was wearing, where he had parked his car. Random stuff like that.

The really nice thing was: for the first time (obviously) of reliving that moment in a long time, there were no feelings attached. None. It was like any other memory, like remembering going to a football game, or a high school class, or any other boring memory of your life.

I like that it's just like any other moment from my past now. It has shaped my path thru this life, but does not define who I am. Love it.

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